Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Performance and Occassion

I have seen the differences of how I act in my life many times. It is amazing how in one situation you can be a normal calm person maybe even introverted, but get into the next situation and you are crazy, a totally different person than who you were before. Two instances in my life where I have seen a difference of performance involve two different organizations I was part of in high school, one in my church and one in my high school.

When I was in high school, I had two very different areas of my life, one of them being my involvement in my church. At my church I was the chair of the youth group and would pretty much show my true colors. I didn't tend to cover up any parts of who I was at church because I had known my friends forever. I was able to speak in front of my fellow church members at services, lead meetings for youth council, and even play guitar for entire services. These were some of the easiest times to be myself and not worry about what others though. I thought I was pretty good at being in front of others and have them looking up to me.

On the other hand I had my life at my high school. I was a very different person at school, not truly who I was elsewhere. There was more pressure at school that wasn't present in other areas of my life, I felt more susceptible to judgements. I was involved in clubs like Beta Club and National Honors Society. When it came around to election times for these clubs, my friends and I would talk about who was running for what. Sometimes they would ask me if I was going to run for anything and I immediately shot the idea down. For some reason I felt that I couldn't do that, I couldn't talk in front of my fellow schoolmates, maybe I didn't have the confidence in myself that I had in other areas of my life. Whether it was clubs or class, I had a much harder time talking in front of others at school and I never wanted to take the lead in anything.

These two areas of my life were completely different. Sometimes looking back I can't believe how my performances were so different in each occasion, but then I think about my life now and I realize that I still act differently depending on where I am, what I'm doing, and how comfortable I feel.

No comments:

Post a Comment