Putting on a Show

          The ‘performative turn’ is the idea of culture as a performance.  In my life, lots of people who surround me everyday use the term ‘fake’ often.  For example, “that girl isn’t even that nice, she’s seriously so fake!”  Being involved in a school of the arts for theatre in my past, I’ve had lots of experience regarding performances.  In my opinion, the modern society we live in today is one big performance, except when regarding the personal relationships that really matter the most to us.

            One example of performance from my own life is with a specific group of people.  Any time there is a town event, where I obviously see the same people at all of them, I become another person than who I am with my family.  With my family, I’m completely myself, whether I’m in a good mood, bad mood, whatever.  With these “townies,” I become an overachieving, overly-confidant version of myself.  In various contexts, my personality changes, and I’m not sure why.  It’s a performance I’m putting on to look a certain way to people that I don’t necessarily love like my family, but am close to and want to subconsciously impress. 

            Another example of a performance in my life is when I’m interviewing for potential jobs.  Granted, I am myself in these interviews, but I’m myself on my “A” game.  I have “performance anxiety” especially on these occasions because I am trying to impress someone to get what I want.  With these different types of performances I’m putting myself in, the boundaries between society and theatre are disappearing.  I’m putting on a show, no matter where I am.

            One of my professors once told me “you’re always selling yourself.”  I don’t like to think of myself as always putting on a show, I like for people to see the “real” me.  This is more difficult to do than it sounds, though.  Depending on different contexts I’m in, different occasions rather, my personality changes.  My performance to the world is ever-changing.